Less like a phoenix rising from the ashes and more like Lord Voldemort attaching his decrepit, basically dead self to another sentient being, the Golden Globes aired on CBS last night under its new owner (savior?) Penske Media. Each year I go into award season hoping the red-carpet pre-shows and award shows themselves will be better than they have been, and each year, the award shows manage to feel both worse and less urgent than before. While I remain convinced there is a way to bring these ceremonies into the modern era — like, can you imagine if they gave Greta Gerwig the freedom to re-tool them? — I’ve lost faith in the institutions that run these programs to evolve them in any meaningful or exciting way.

Perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps the award shows are just meant to die a slow death, like print magazines, as we consumers of entertainment mutate into human-sized gnats with thumbs for scrolling TikTok. But I would like to believe there is a way to honor people who make great movies and TV shows that don’t feel deadlier than a zombie apocalypse.

has a great, comprehensive recap of all the things that went wrong during the ceremony, from Jo Koy’s painful opening monologue, to the announcer mispronouncing Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s name twice, to the red-carpet pre-show that was so disappointing, it managed to make E!’s recent pre-show efforts look like a Christopher Nolan production. ’s Richard Rushfield called it the “RC Cola of Award Shows.”

Also, why did Ali Wong (who won for Beef) and Ayo Edebiri (who won for The Bear) have to walk so far to the stage, Edebiri holding her gorgeous scarlet Prada train fearfully in the process? They’re here to collect awards in formalwear, not exercise! After Wong’s name was called, she looked like she had to take a moment to map out her walk to the stage to accept her prize. This was a terrible flaw of the venue’s design, which was apparently new. That said, I was relieved to see that CBS installed a more aesthetically pleasing step-and-repeat than last year’s abomination, though the tones were rather dishwater-y, something no amount of flowers can mask.

Speaking of the fashion, this red carpet didn’t feel particularly more interesting or buzzier than any other red-carpet event, with one notable exception: it was one of the first big celebrity gatherings where the new, looser silhouette we’ve been seeing on runways really took root on the men’s side. Those tight, Hedi Slimane cuts are starting to be cast aside like Jo Koy’s wisecracks should have been.

I previously described the new loose men’s silhouette as nineties tech CEO.

I stand by that comparison for daytime. However, as I watched Calvin Klein’s latest happy trail face Jeremy Allen White saunter up the stairs in his loosely tailored trousers and sensually fabricated blouse, I realized that what he, Robert Downey Jr., Jonathan Bailey, and more of the men were giving was Shiv Roy, she of long blazers, she who did more for the work pants in four seasons of television than Talbots has in its seventy-seven years on this earth. (Many men who did not go this route just chose penguin suits.)

Let’s take a closer look.

Jeremy Allen White

Obviously, JAW wore Calvin Klein, which released his underwear campaign the Friday before the award show. As though the photos weren’t enough, JAW offered a whisper of his torso through what appeared to be a sheer shirt. Sheer wasn’t terribly Shiv, so maybe he has a dash of Willa in him (she was in the theater, after all). The cut of his pants and even the shape of his shoes harkened to Shiv in season four, when she wore Tom Ford to Connor’s wedding, where she found out Logan died.

Jonathan Bailey

Bailey was one of the more inherently stylish guys at this thing, as you can tell by the way he worked this pantsuit and that fabric Ralph Lauren waist belt on Instagram. Shiv never wore a stark white suit (the only stark white she wore was the occasional work shirt), but Bailey has the vibe of her in L.A. in season four at that party in Los Angeles, where she played Bitey with Tom. He doesn’t look like he’s not in a biting mood.

Robert Downey Jr.

Early series Shiv! Remember her? She had the long, undone hair of someone who was content to work in low-paying political campaigns, instead of the serious bob of someone who aspired to take over an evil right-wing media empire. This Shiv had the freedom, as a seasoned Hollywood man like RDJ does, to enjoy a dash of plum from time to time.

Jared Leto

Leto’s lapels had the same satin-contrast look of Shiv’s at the election-night party in season four. Shiv never did a white pant/black top sort of thing, so with those trousers, Leto is serving a side of Naomi Pierce. Maybe he’s also dishing out a dash of Logan’s last girlfriend Kerry, who would have worn gloves when she thought it was right but really wasn’t.

Cillian Murphy

Cillian looks like he’s wearing a standard tux without the stuffy bowtie. Let’s call it the look that bridges John Hamm’s penguin tux to Jeremy Allen White’s swishy everything that’s still confusing every fleece-vested man today. Cillian’s look has the flavor of early-series Shiv in work suit that is formal yet fun, that can work at Waystar RoCo HQ but also make sense on a Real Housewife at a funeral.

Chris Perfetti

Shiv was the only Roy family member who could get away with a bold pinstripe. Costume designer Michelle Matland once explained that Tom’s pinstripes were always just a hair too bold, because he wasn’t born rich and didn’t know how to dress like a billionaire. But Shiv used them to convey power (recall, also in season four, the pinstripes she wore on her way to L.A. when she stopped for a tête-à-tête with Matsson on her private plane). On Golden Globes men like Perfetti, pinstripes suggest whimsy instead of seriousness. It’s like all these actors know they have to take the swings all these award shows desperately need to but never will.

Tyler James Williams

If Williams and Perfetti’s suits look similar, that’s because they’re both Dolce & Gabbana. I’d be annoyed if I were doing the highly specific look of pinstripe + floral brooch only to show up and find someone else doing it in a different colorway. Perhaps you could blame Dolce & Gabanna, but perhaps there’s no way to prevent this since last-minute outfit decisions are often made. That aside, combined with the dainty chain necklace, Williams’s tan suit mirrored Shiv’s tan pinstripes from season three.

You may be wondering, if the men are wearing office-y clothes to this stuff, why not the women? Particularly if they have to get in a full day’s step count when they go to collect their awards, maybe gowns are no longer the best choice. That said, my favorite women’s looks included Natalie Portman in Dior, Gillian Anderson in Gabriela Hearst, Julianne Moore in Bottega Veneta, Angela Bassett in Dolce & Gabbana, Ayo Edebiri in Prada, and Ali Wong in Dior Couture.

What did you think of the Golden Globes? Did you endure watching it? What were your favorite looks? Please sound off in the comments!

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